I cockslap morals
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
