The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
being pregnant is like rehab
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
