the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Alive.
So much puke
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
