What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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