That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
