I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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