Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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