Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
