No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
