Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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