sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
