next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
