I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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