i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
