If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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