apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
