I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
