I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
