is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You pole danced in your parka.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
