Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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