Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
