why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
