i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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