she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
