Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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