remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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