I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
