You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
