do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
