so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
