Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
