i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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