So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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