please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
