we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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