Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
