do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
