If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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