it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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