What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
