I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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