He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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