Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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