we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
