Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
