will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
