it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
