some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
