She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
