Where is the hickey?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
