whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
