Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
